The Bean Family Chronicles | A Song, Expanded

You call me out upon the waters

When I first heard your call, I shut it out.  There were so many excuses, so many fears, so many reasons for me not to follow.

The great unknown

Oh, how great that big wide unknown seemed to be.  For every question that you answered, I asked a hundred more.

Where feet may fail

“May fail” seemed like the only possible thing that would happen if we dared to obey.  Every construct that we had been taught to build seemed precariously perched on the edge of an abyss.

And there I find you in the mystery

There are you.  In the middle of all the questions, all the fears, all the weapons that seem to be assaulting from all directions.  There you are.  Strong.  Steadfast.  Never changing.  Always there.  Before me.  Beside me.  Behind me.  Beneath me.  In the midst of the mystery.

In oceans deep

You are a deep ocean.  The depths of your love, I try to understand and I keep coming up short.  Deep in love.  Deep in grace.  Deep in mercy.  Deep in purpose.  I find myself deeply in love with You.

My faith will stand

I am able to stand because you are, indeed, deep.  Praise be to You, God, that my ability to fulfill your commission does not depend on my shallow footing to be successful.  You are a deep well and you stir deep things up in me.

I will call upon your name

I have to.  Upon whom else dare I call.  What other name can save?  What other name promises to come through?  What other name has proven itself faithful enough that I can risk it all to follow?

And keep my eyes above the waves

Sometimes it feels like it’s just my eyes above the waves, and that the rest of me is frantically treading water below as the swells threaten to overcome.  And yet, somehow you….yes, you….you keep my eyes above the waves.  When I’ve wanted to retreat.  When i’ve wanted to nix the whole thing and play it safe.  When i’ve wanted to allow the fears and “what-if’s” to talk louder than your promises, YOU, yes YOU, have kept my eyes above the waves.

When oceans rise

Because that’s what they do.  The tides swing.  My faith swings.  Confidence to doubt.  A bell curve that I find myself sliding up and down.  Oh, that I had faith to believe.  To really believe.  And not doubt.  Ever.  Maybe i’m crazy for thinking it’s even possible.  It has to be, though.  You told me not to doubt, that means it’s possible.  I’m trying, God, really.  Thank you for refusing to let me sink.

My soul will rest in your embrace

Yes, rest.  Sweet, soul-reaching rest.  Hallelujah!  How it’s possible amidst this wild ride, I do not begin to understand.  I don’t have to, though.  You’ve promised it, and, boy, have you come through.  When I lie in bed with my mind running in 50 different directions about all the how’s, why’s, when’s, and who’s, all I have to do is call your name and you give me rest.  Yes, rest.  And, even beyond that, you give me peace.  Hope.  Comfort.  Courage.  Faith.  Love.  Need I go on?  You have been, will be, and are a bottomless well of riches that never runs dry.

For I am yours

Why, it almost seems scandalous to say it.  I.  AM.  YOURS.  Certainly not because of anything I have done to merit that title.  Yet, this is the way you’ve always planned it.  All my days, written in your book before I came to be.  Yesterday.  Today.  Tomorrow.  You already know.  And you’ve gone before.  Why?  Because I am yours and you refuse to let me go.  Oh, that I could fathom the depth and breadth of those three words.  Who I am in you.

And you are mine

And it is this truth that is the genesis of this whole thing.  You in me.  I in you.  Without you I can do nothing.  With you, i’ll never fail.  So what am I left to do but obey.  Where you say “go,” I go.  Before me.  Behind me.  Below me.  Above me.  Everywhere.  All the time.  Never changing.  Always listening.  Seeing all.  Knowing all.  Worth it all.  WORTH IT ALL.